The Tail Is Wagging the Doge
The Meme Is the Message
Dogecoin is a cryptocurrency that was started in 2013 by IBM software engineer Billy Markus and Adobe software engineer Jackson Palmer. Any logical person might think to themselves, “Okay, two software engineers working for two reputable software companies; this Dogecoin likely has some promise.” And then, without digging too deeply, a number of sources will quickly reveal that Dogecoin was actually created as a joke, and that it has no real utility. Markus and Palmer just really happened to like this picture of a Shiba Inu dog (pronounced “doge” as a slang term), and decided to make it the mascot of Dogecoin. That’s right, two grown-ass men with two grown-ass jobs made a joke-ass cryptocurrency and used the face of a cute dog as a meme to lure people to buy it. This is real life. So, do yourself a favor, and take all of that logic you’ve carefully cultivated over your years and years as a sentient being on God’s green Earth, and throw it right out the fucking window, because we don’t live in the logical world anymore. We live in the upside down world. We live in the TikTok mutlimillionaire crytocurrency trader world. We will live in the purely illogical world - and the meme is the message in this age of insanity.
And since we’re here, let’s break down a little further exactly why massive mainstream media outlets like Bloomberg and CNBC are covering the rise of Dogecoin. Well, Papa Elon really got the party started when he began memeing about Dogecoin, which prompted r/WallStreetBets to begin a rallying cry behind it. In a matter of the last few months, billions upon billions of dollars piled into Dogecoin, and now it has a market cap larger than Ford, Delta, Walgreens and a whole host of other notable companies.
For further context of just how fast money has flowed into Dogecoin, let’s check in with personal finance blogger (and, judging by his last name, sausage and peppers enthusiast) Nick Maggiulli:
Let me rephrase that. Had you put your free government money into a joke cryptocurrency, you’d be about a third of the way to a having $1,000,000 in your bank account. Jesus H. Christ, what planet are we on? Oh, that’s right, we’re on the moon -
and we’re headed towards Mars.
But the “experts” surely know something that we must not know, right? Let’s go to the CSO of Coin Shares (a firm that manages $4 billion in assets), boss lady Meltem Demirors, to see what she thinks of all of this…
“put away your galaxy brain IQ. it is not useful where we are going.”
“the power of memes is moving markets / you absolutely love to see it / it’s gonna break people’s brains, and we’re just getting started.”
What is there really left to say? Take your financial textbooks, and start using the pages as kindling for fire. Take the money that you use to subscribe to The Economist and just donate it to a local soup kitchen - or better yet, buy some Dogecoin with it, and donate a percentage of your gains to the soup kitchen. All of the homeless people in your neighborhood will never go hungry again. Where we’re going, we don’t need logic, we don’t need analysis, and we don’t even need insider info; we just need memes. I mean, even Real Vision founder and former Goldman Sachs trader, Raoul Pal (who I wrote about here), just bought some Dogecoin.
So, who would I be to call this a bubble and to warn against buying it? Some of the best traders on Twitter have already assured their followers that Dogecoin is headed to $1 per coin (It’s currently about $0.40 per coin, and it was at far less than $0.01 per coin as of this past January.)
Why listen to the huge brain of Charles Hoskinson, founder of Cardano, a blockchain platform forged from massive amounts of hardcore, university-funded peer-reviewed research, as he warns against this Dogecoin bubble?
Why do the sensible thing, the logical thing, and opt out of the Dogecoin hysteria, when all we need to know is right below?
Welcome to crazy world. I - your ESL teacher turned financial analyst - couldn’t be happier to be here with you. What a time to be alive.
Best,
Frank
Twitter: @frankcorva
Currently Watching: My brain melt out of my ears in my reflection in my laptop screen
P.S., I am not a financial advisor. I am putting this disclaimer here because I know some of you are going act a fool and run out to buy yourself some Dogecoin. Don’t come crying to me when it goes from $1 to $0.000001 overnight. (And don’t forget about me if it goes to $1 million.)
God help us all.
Call me crazy - but I’m going to put $1000 - yes, $1000 - into DOGE - DOGE! - if it hits my limit order of .000001 cents